The Day I Lost My Son (And Also My Sanity)

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

2 Corinthians 10:5

There are moments when time moves slow and your brain moves fast.

Like, worst-case scenario, full-on crime documentary (I may watch way too many), call-in-the-dogs fast.

I had one of those moments when my son didn’t answer his phone.

The Spiral:

We had just gotten our son a bus pass and were still learning boundaries. That day, he asked if he could swim in the harbor. We said yes—if he went exactly where he said he would and remembered to check in.

At first, all looked fine. His location showed he had made it to his swimming hole. But five minutes later, I got another update… and this time it said he had left.

Then, suddenly, his phone location showed he was driving—45 miles per hour—headed straight for the freeway.Cue the mom spiral.

I texted: no reply.

I called: straight to voicemail.

I texted again: “PLEASE! Answer me. Are you okay?”(Then I added a 🙏 emoji, because that’s what moms do while losing their minds.)

My chest got tight. My thoughts got loud.Had he wandered off? Was he hurt? Was he… taken?

I ran upstairs and asked my husband. “CALL HIM!”

No answer.

That’s when I convinced myself—and my husband—that he must’ve been kidnapped. Or worse, trafficked.

(Which, in my defense, I had just come from a sex trafficking event where they said boys were being targeted too.)

Next thing we knew, we were frantically tracking his phone and trying to follow the car. It took us two cities over. Every time we got close, the car would turn. We couldn’t tell which one it was, but we knew he was near.

Finally, the car started heading back toward where Josiah was originally supposed to be. That’s when I started to calm down—barely.

The Reality:

We ended up pulling into a parking lot, hearts racing, eyes scanning every car.

That’s when I saw an SUV pull up. A mom got out, popped open the trunk, and a group of about six 14-year-old boys came running toward her. She casually handed out their backpacks like she was passing out snacks at soccer practice.

Including my son’s.

Turns out, my responsible boy had left his belongings—including his phone—in her car for safekeeping while they swam.

Imagine my embarrassment as my son looked at his phone…only to see a thousand missed calls from his panic-stricken mother.(I’m not even exaggerating. Okay, maybe a little. But still.)

Mary lost her son, too!

It reminded me of Mary, in Luke 2:41-50.She and Joseph were traveling home when they realized 12-year-old Jesus was not with the group.

Three. Whole. Days.

Imagine Mary’s spiral.

Jesus hadn’t misbehaved. He hadn’t run away.He was in the temple. Doing exactly what He came to do.

"Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” — Luke 2:49

Oof.

The Truth:

Jesus is never “missing.”Our kids? Sometimes.Our peace? Frequently. But Jesus? Always exactly where He’s supposed to be.

So often, my panic has nothing to do with reality—and everything to do with my thoughts spiraling ahead of my faith. I imagined the worst-case scenario while God was calmly holding it all together.

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

This verse hit me hard later when I thought about what happenedt. My thoughts weren’t obedient, they were doing 90 in a 25. But God reminded me: you can stop the spiral by surrendering your mind to Me. Peace doesn’t come from knowing your child’s exact location—it comes from knowing your Savior is already there.

The Takeaway:

Maybe today, you feel like something is missing: a child, a promise, a breakthrough. But before you spiral like me, remember: God’s not late.

He’s not confused.

He’s not lost.

He’s just calmly waiting in the temple while we retrace our steps.

Prayer:

Lord, help me stop spiraling and start trusting. You are never lost. And neither are Your plans for me—or my children. In Jesus Precious Name, Amen